Paperbag nick

2005-07-20T23:40:00.000+08:00

i feel inspired.
i haven't felt like that in a long long time
i mean
pulling rickshaws isn't exactly very inspiring
not when u can't pick up ang mo chio bus-because of your paperbag
not when u get snubbed by all the other ah peks
not when all u do in the day is to smack flies and stare into space

but i am feeling inspired.

i picked up some girls today
they were frantically searching for a rickshaw
to do some stupid things like buying carrots

in any case
one of them was waxing lyrical about this certain person
and i call him this Certain Person
because she seemed to worship him
alright
his name is

Jay Chou

who the heck is he?
-i thought to myself, at the same time trying to wipe off the sweat behind my paperbag

singer:

there's a whole bunch of them, who claim to be singers but who utterly CANT sing;like this trio of girls, group of 4 pretty boys, 5 ordinary-looking guys

song-writer:

industry people who churn out trashy pop tunes..one "good" example is that mice liking rice song...as long as a song contains two or three lines of catchy tunes...

but jay chou is both a singer and a song-writer....

HMMMMM

decided to check up on him after the afternoon rickshaw sessions

2005-07-19T00:48:00.000+08:00

To all my fans out there,

sorry for this really really delayed post...
i know u all are desperately waiting for me to post.
alright
i shall do just that
if that satisfies u all..

i have been busy these days...as u know...times are bad...business is so hard to come by...i have to pull my rickshaw all the way to some uluated resorts just to get customers...u all may think i m stupid...why go all the way there...but that's because...erm...let's just say that competition is stiff...i m severely stigmatised as a result of my paperbagicitis...not a single person wanted to ride my rickshaw...just because they can't see my face? i mean...how unfair can this world be to unfortunate people like me...alright...that done...back to the part where i pulled my rickshaw all the way to fetch customers from uluated resorts...well...u may think that i am trying to hao4 lian4...but it was honestly a most intelligent decision...i realised that some uni students were having their camps there...and their organisers...shall i call them smart of stupid? alright...stupid(for it benefits me yar...thanks to whoever those peeps were) well...in any case...they didn(or they forgot to) hire any bus to bring the students out from those uluated resorts to the nearest place that at least looks a bit like civilisation...in any case...i was absolutely exhilirated to see groups of students swarming to my rickshaw(never mind that paperbag) i was to have company...at last!!!! just talk about the attention i got...it was amazing!!! never in my life have i been so...haha...targetted!!! like everyone was trying their best to earn a place in my rickshaw...awwww...haha......it was as if they have never seen a rickshaw!!! goodness...those poor kids...trudging with those bulky bags in that scorching hot sun...and relieved they were! they rewarded me handsomely...for my handsome paperbag and my handsome rickshaw...haha...i like them...better than those any mo chio bus...so well...now that the money is starting to pour in...i can better go pay for my dance lessons...and hopefully...arrange for a change of dance partners yar...

2005-06-06T21:59:00.000+08:00

i am not getting paid enough!
there jus aren't enough dumb tourists willing to part with their money........the only ones who really get a kick out of getting a skinny-guy-with-paper-bag-over-head to pull them around are the really fat and heavy couples. I call them MAC-couples, because obviously they have been upsized by one too many macdonald meals.....
they're heavy! i don't wanna break my back but they're the only business i have now.....
ang mo chio bus are few and far between these days.

i was looking at the stars up in the sky last night..
every one was so beautiful. twinkling and bright. everyone with a history literally light years away. everyone a magnificient big ball of flame somewhere in outer space.

yet none worth anything. the stars in the sky, just like the dust on the earth. too many of them. they're cheapened.....because they are plenty. perhaps all are unique, but not unique enough, because none are special.

2005-05-06T12:31:00.000+08:00

Why does my lotus root turn purple after I put them in the soup to boil???

I thought my soup smelled funny.
Does lotus root have some detoxifying effects? like... turning blue after absorbing toxics? 'cause if it does, I think my soup is poisoned.
Preparing dinner for myself is a headache.
I think I'll die of food poisoning one day, from the food I cook for myself.

But no.

That doesn't mean I'm desperate to get an ah mah from my Indian dance class for a wife to cook for me. And although my looks bear some resemblance to a certain KR, I do not go after 59 year old women. I'm still traumatised by that experience. Why must it always be some qi ko ah mah that's interested in pinching my ass? The ang moh chio bus I chauffeured around never express such interest.

I miss miss loo so so dearly. First, I lost her. Then, I lost even meatball! Wasn't really a great loss, except that... well Meatball woman might have some secret recipes and mysterious ability to cook... there has to be a reason behind her size afterall. Now, she's off to turn beefcake Bollo into a beefball.

While I have to starve or eat my own poisoned food. Why is life so hard on me?

And I have no mother to cook for me too. Guess it's about time I reveal my tragic past to all you loyal fans. I'm disowned by my parents who can't accept a freak son who wears a paperbag over his head. Ok... so maybe it's my fault afterall.

I guess I'll have to bear with purple lotus root until I take on some interest in one of those ah mah classmates I have.

2005-05-03T19:40:00.000+08:00

I had a traumatic day today.

I had indian dance classes again.. I've been going to the classes 3 times a week.. I just love the artificial trees that our instructors made for us to use.. i'm missing ms loo more and more, especially after what happened today. most of my classmates have partners, they go with their boyfriends or girlfriends or spouses. *so jealous* i don't have a partner though.. and it just so happened that today we had to do some partner stuff for the dance.. so i had to pair up with this elderly chinese lady.. i thought she looked quite nice.. as in pleasant.. although when she smiles, u can see that a lot of her teeth have dropped out.. but what she did to me.. argghhhghhgh.. the more i think about it, the more disgusted i feel..

i was trying not to touch her.. while doing the guy role.. but somehow we switched positions and i ended up in front of her.. and then.... haiz... *sobs* she grabbed my sleek waist with her fat hands!! arghghgh... i felt so violated. it was supposed to be like the guy holds the girl's waist and they both shake shake shake.. and ok..not only did she grab my waist, she forced me to swing my hips..there i was, swinging my hips like crazy.. and the worst part, she pinched my butt after that portion of the dance was done!!!!!!!!!! i need to go lie down and cry for a while...

(15 mins later)

sigh. if only ms loo were alive, we could go for indian dance lessons together. i thought these classes would be my refuge from the sweltering heat that i work under every day, and a time where i can simply lose myself in the music, with sweet thoughts of ms loo.. and now.. i have to keep on the lookout for the ji ko ah mah.. and avoid her.. what is this man. i can't even have some personal time for myself and ms loo.

so many bad things have been happening to me these days.. first meatball woman finds her stupid bollo.. and completely reveals her true colours to me. she never loved me, unlike what she said. she kept bothering me with her incessant phone calls, her pleading, and now there's none of that in my life anymore. perhaps this is all just my fault. i had the opportunity, but i didn't grab hold of it. what??!! what am i saying. i wouldn't want meatball woman anyway. i'm so hurt. no one cares about me. no one cares that i'm lying on my floor, crying my eyes out, leaving all my internal organs to writhe with grief and depression. everything's just gone downhill ever since i left hc, and ever since ms loo died, of course. dear readers, please hope that my next entry will see me in a much better state of mind.

2005-04-30T08:51:00.000+08:00

Meatball woman reeks of superficiality. She was overly eager to get attached to me when really what does she know about me? nothing. absolutely nothing other than what can be taken at face value. Meatball woman was single and lonely. Meatball woman decided to get attached to someone. Anyone. And then meatball woman found me. but i am not anyone, and i don't believe that i have to be anybody's "anyone". Her affections insult my eligibility. Egoistic as it is, I am not as desperate as to go for jus "anyone" who seems quite "nice". because truthfully, isn't everyone(save a few pple who are in a class of their own) quite nice? i do not need to settle for such a superficial relationship, especially since meatball woman herself is no miss world.

So anyhow, i hear that meatball woman has found a certain Bollo the beefcake man. i hear it was love at first sight and both of them have decided to get things rolling. i hear this and i hear that, none of them from meatball woman. Yes i was never there for her and okay she probably does not owe me an explanation. but i still feel a little...sore, hurt, played with, cheated, dumped. but for the most part i feel insulted.

Because i was trying to get to know meatball woman. I know i was pushing her away but i did not throw her out either. I needed time and i was starting to see her in a more affectionate way. with her persistance and apparent devotion, i was giving her a little of my heart and love. then off goes meatball woman, with nary a word of goodbye, leaving me to pick up the pieces. truthfully, there aren't that many pieces to pick up anyway, and none of this should really matter to me. Yet it does and i am hurt because she made me feel things that i would not have felt, things that i began to feel as a sole result of my relenting to her persistance, and then she goes off with someone else quite suddenly. and i have to contend with these feelings of hurt which i would not have felt in the first place! so i feel cheated. and i feel insulted, because now i see more clearly than ever that she must not have liked me as much she claimed to have initially. otherwise she would not have left in such a hurry. So what she did was she deceived me and took me for a fool. and i am insulted indeed....

but i don't care!

i love only miss loo!
yes meatball woman left me disillusioned, deceived, dejected. but she hurt me in a way a good friend might've hurt me. it is not the kind of pain that is powerful enough to force me to bear a grudge or forever hold feelings of sourness. so don't worry meatball woman! we will jus bankrupt whatever lousy relationship we had prior to this and then embark on a more successful friendship...or, if not possible, then amiable acquaintanceship.

i love miss loo alot.
miss loo occupies my mind. she is the one i see in my dreams. and no our relationship is not superficial! i know everything i need to know about her... its in her eyes. and her manner. and oooh the way she washes the toilet! i just know...all there is to know, without having to say anything.
its not like my erm...relationship with meatball woman you know. for meatball woman, i had to slowly try to give my affections. meatball woman - i had to learn to love her, which i learnt a little before she dumped me.

but miss loo....the moment i saw her, my heart in its entirety was hers.

damn i'm miserable.

hark, what see i?
why indeed it is!
a beautiful butterfly
but wait,
the butterfly is dead
upon the ground its wings lie torn and tattered
my heart, it too lies within me, shattered
and as i mourn the loss...and all the things that could have been
out of nowhere,
a meatball hits me hard on the head. for no apparent reason.
leaving me reeling from a transient pain...
on top of the eternal pain within my heart. and now i feel numbed beond belief.

i did nothing to deserve all this yet i've been delt a double blow.

2005-04-27T23:28:00.000+08:00

Heya dear fans,
Sorry I've not blogged for so long.
You see, I just took up a new hobby!
Dancing... Indian dance to be exact.

I saw the sign for Indian dance classes on one of those evenings,
when the sun sets and the streets are suddenly silent,
and I'm thinking of Miss Loo.

Indian dance is great!
I discovered my hidden talent to move my head apart from the rest of my body.
The exercise actually improve my arthritis condition,
now my little finger and big toe doesn't hurt so much anymore.
Or maybe it's because it hasn't been raining.
Or maybe...
the pain in the heart makes everything else insignificant.

Sigh~~
How wonderful it would be if Miss Loo is still around.
We could learn Indian dance together,
those hugging the coconut tree sessions would be so much more meaningful.
But right now,
I have to practise it with aunties three times my age.

To make things worse,
Meatball Woman wails at me through the phone 5 times a day.
It's like...
Breakfast, Lunch, Tea, Dinner, Supper.
Except that it works the other way - it takes away my appetite.
I think I lost 10 kilos from this 10 days of sheer brain torment.

And one thing leads to another,
the loss of 10 kilos didn't seem to be from fats.
I think my body is miswired to burn proteins before fats.
I lost 10 kgs of pure muscle,
even the chauffeuring of slim ang moh chio bus is becoming a taxing job.
At this rate,
when am I going to save up enough money for Meatball Woman's makeover?!
Considering she needs more than 10 times of liposuction and maybe plastic surgery in 200 areas.
And she's still the primary cause of my lost of weight!
This is plain irony.

Here I am,
trapped between 2 women.
One dead, one alive.
One past, one present.
One unforgettable, one hopefully-forgotten.
One pretty little butterfly, one meatball.
One chio as the goddesses in the heavens, the other well... nevermind.

My life.
The life of desirable paperbag nick - a joke.

2005-04-16T03:24:00.000+08:00

ms loo. no one can ever replace ms loo in my life. so many of my waking moments were spent with thoughts of her, sweet pleasant reveries that enchanted me while i took siestas under the hot baking sun after a hard day's work of rickshaw-ing, on those mundane bus trips to the army doctors.. the pain that shot through my body, coursed through my veins and seared my flesh on that fateful day i discovered her, my little butterfly, lying so tranquilly amidst the gushing water. i will never forget it. not for a while, at least.

but i need to move on. it's been troubling me so much these days, that all the rickshaw chi ko peks have outrun me in picking up the ang moh chio bu customers. the more i brood, the more my livelihood is at stake. i'm sure ms loo would not have wanted me to suffer and not be able to move on without her. still, memories trouble me so. i wish i could have some sort of memento from her, to keep by my heart every second, that i know she is close to my heart, something i can put all my pleasant memories in, and open up occasionally to experience once again those happy times. for a fleeting moment.

meatball woman. has still been calling me every day. she is persistent, as persistent as i am towards ms loo. though mine is one of futility, yet hers, hers.. hers may yet reap rewards..if i may be so moved.. perhaps i should give her a chance. and i should give her a makeover too. when i earn enough. yes, that shall be my goal for now..to earn enough to give her a makeover. so that i can at least consider her when i see her changed appearance. staring at a meatball is just so revolting to me now. that's the least i can do for her now.

i'm in one of those poetic moods now, thinking about life and all. i feel like composing a poem for ms loo..

ms loo, ms loo
queen of the toilets
amidst the flushing toilets
mopping the smelly toilets
cleaning the filthy sinks
scrubbing the floor so tirelessly
armed with a pump on hand
plunge and pull
plunge and pull
again she saves the toilets
but no one sees her toiling
bearing the stench of the toilet
bearing the filth of the toilet
bearing the glances from students
glances of disgust
utter ungratefulness, yet
so dedicated is she
that she works
to her death.

a cry
the toilet can't flush!
so rushes she to the rescue
plunging and pulling and
plunging and pulling
a frantic splash around
an attempt to stem the gush
of filthy toilet water
but alas
the gods have pre-planned
her unexpected fall
a victim of her livelihood
dirty, stinky, base
yet noble and brave

a just death indeed
her salvage from the evil world
that goes on spinning, turning
oh the valiant never taste of death but once
a death that causes but a ripple
yet that very ripple
is magnified a hundred times over
in the ocean of my heart.

2005-04-07T10:26:00.000+08:00

= RIP Ms. Loo =

2005-04-07T10:15:00.000+08:00

when the sun sets and the streets are suddenly silent...i will sometimes think of miss loo

i will never forget the day i met ms loo

in the toilet, that it

she was in the ladies
and i stupidly walked into the ladies for some reason

so i guess it's fate

we were fated to meet

she looked absolutely gorgeous!
probably in contrast to the putrefying smell of the toilet and its disgusting contents
but in any case
she was beautiful
pretty little butterfly
fluttering about noiselessly in that small little lavatory confinement of hers
dutifully performing her tasks

i was just an innocent j1 then
bumping around the sch in the first three months
until i met miss loo

the initial moments were terrible
i felt like an idiot
just standing stupidly outside the ladies
hoping to catch a glimpse of miss loo

i just wanted a glimpse of her
a teeny weeny glimpse of her pretty little face
and i swear that would have delighted me for the entire day

many a times
she would walk right past me
without even casting me a glance

rather
i noticed
she would instead go look for uncle chong
our's school security guard

i mean
what is this?
am i worse than a security guard whose hair is falling at a most unimaginable rate?

or is it because of my paperbagicitis?

can't she see that beauty lies in the eye of the beholder?
though in my case her eye probably could not see much of wat i was like behind my paperbag
but she could have sensed my passionate love for her if only she tried to look really hard into my eyes

but she did not

she never gave herself that chance

and when i finally gathered what remains of my courage to profess my love for her

she died

it was just so sudden

i will never forget that day

that day when i walked into the toilet
and found her unconscious on the toilet floor
which was flooding with water that kept spewing out of this toilet bowl that refused to stop flushing

the flowers and chocolates in my hands dropped
i rushed forward
knelt beside her
gently held her up
and wrapped her in my arms

alas!
why was i to suffer such a cruel fate?

she died
the love of my life died

my love has thus left me
like the toilet bowl water flowing into the drain
gone forever

at times when such overwhelming sadness grips me
i would feel my hands gripping the handles of the rickshaw even more steadily than ever

i would feel a sudden urge to run
to run down the endlessly empty streets
to run away from that darkness

to run towards ms loo

2005-04-01T15:42:00.000+08:00

Today meatball women gave me a tearful phone call. She said she can't forget me, she wants us to be together, she doesn't care about my paperbagicitis, she doesn't care for the guy i introduced her to, i am the one person who makes her heart beat that much faster, and she'll love me no matter what.

I was so irritated. Because i was jus about to grab another customer when i got such a pesky phone call. But of course i listened to her, because i am not as evil as to say straight to her face that she was the last thing on my mind, i'd enjoy being together with her as much as getting eaten by a tarantulla, i am offended by her meat ball looks, and my heart beats faster when she's around only because i have a sudden impulse to run away!

Besides, how dare she tell me "i will love you no matter what". DOes she take me for an idiot who falls for lines that are just pirated wholesale from the latest mushy Dicaprio movie? Rubbish rubbel cabbage shit indeed.

Then after i put down the phone and sat there on my rickshaw(no customers) i began to think about all she'd said. i started to try to not be quite so critical, and after awhile i did manage to sympathise with her. Poor meatball women. Yes she is sumo personified. Yes she stalked me. Yes she reeks of desperation. But in the same heartbeat, yes the poor thing is torturing herself over a guy that will never see anything other than a meat ball when he looks her way. And i don't think i'm responding in the right way either. Picture your mother trying to give you a plate of pie that you don't intend to eat. So she'll push it to you, and you'll shove it back. Push shove push shove and eventually the pie drops on the floor, and you get scolded. Now think of meatball women pushing her heart to me, and me shoving it back. Once again, push shove push shove. Going to drop and shatter her heart, and everyone's going to accuse me of being a bastard. Bah. I know that i'm a bastard, but i'd prefer to keep it a secret.

AGHHHHHHH
i feel bad for meat ball women yet i don't want to be with her...

2005-03-31T14:45:00.000+08:00

They LIKE me.
There ARE people reading my blog.
I feel so happy happy HAPPY!
=) =P =D
My blog's a hit. I've like... 288 hits in the matter of... days! And my die-hard fans are begging me to write just because I haven't written for a few days, was too busy polishing my rickshaw, you see, I polish it about 3 times a day. So dear fans, do forgive me.

Anyway, let me get on about my wonderful wonderful life.

The NS docs checked my paperbagitis, and they all agree that it's the worst (and actually, only) case they've seen so far. In their exact words, "It has gone so bad it's beginning to smell." Aha! So all that fly swapping was worth it. The docs were so disgusted they decided to arrange a follow-up checkup 1 year later... when they're out of NS and the new bunch of docs come in.

Actually, I've scared away so many ang mohs these days my boss is complaining. But since I've grown so fond of my rickshaw, he couldn't bear to keep me away from it, after I promised to smell better at work tomorrow.

I've invested in 2 tubes of liquid paper. Now I can finally spend more money on my rickshaw, think I'll paint it... maybe PINK. Or wait. PURPLE will be good too. The ji ko peks will be so jealous when ang moh chio bus swarm to my cute little pink and purple rickshaw.

I've been thinking these days. Maybe I should get a hobby, you know, like bonsai planting or origami, the really cool ones. I know, dear fans, it'll be hard on you since I may not be blogging so often. But quality over quantity you know, don't you all want to know more about my exciting exciting life after I pick up such a cool hobby?

2005-03-28T19:17:00.000+08:00

i came.
i saw.
i fell.
my rickshaw toppled as i raced with this other ji ko pek rickshaw puller to get to this chiobu caucasion tourist in chinatown who was signalling for a rickshaw. Immediately after seeing me fall, she stopped calling for rickshaws and went to line up for a taxi instead. My life sux.

2005-03-27T10:53:00.000+08:00

First day of work went well and since they didn't mention any dress code or distribute any uniforms, I stockpiled on white singlets, shorts, rubber slippers, straw hat and traditional-salon-type towels. Isn't that the most sensible thing to do?

But no...

They decided that we must all wear this ugly bright yellow t-shirt for work!!
All my preparation went down the drain.

URGH.

I asked for small size, but the smallest size they had left was extra-large. That explains the rickshaw drivers' huge rush to grab t-shirts from the distributor while I was busy grumbling about the colour.

Work today was terrible. I was swimming in this huge shirt, trying to keep my shoulders covered while driving the rickshaw. And the thing about bright yellow... it attracts flies. Ok... Maybe it's also because I didn't shower for days but I chose to believe... BRIGHT YELLOW SHIRTS ATTRACT FLIES!

So in addition to keeping myself in the shirt and on the bicycle, I had to swap flies. What a sight I was, the angmohs I chauffeured around thought I'm an acrobat, or more likely a clown.

I should get tipped for entertaining them. But alas, they were laughing so hysterically they forgot about the shophouses... and my tip.

2005-03-26T20:43:00.000+08:00

After work today I went for my doctor's check up.. Those NS people, I tell you..They're just like cockroaches that don't die- they never give up on trying to force me into the military. Why can't they just respect the fact that I have an INCURABLE DISEASE??!!! Okay so it hasn't been raining much these few days, but STILL. I KNOW my little finger and big toe are going to start hurting at the slightest hint of rain. They obviously don't understand the woes of the elderly. So anyway, today the doctors from the army were all over my finger and toe, prodding it, poking it, examining it to no end. I really wonder if they know anything about arthritis. Needless to say, they followed up on my paperbagitis as well.. which is why i haven't taken a shower in a few days. The liquid paper is starting to peel off but I can assure you, it still looks really credible!! Even my colleagues were asking after me and suggesting all sorts of creams and chinese medicine stuff to put on my face. There's going to be a follow-up check-up next week AGAIN, so I've planned everything out. I won't wash up or shower for this week, and i'll have to be very vigilant in applying the liquid paper every day. Just like putting on make-up.
Anyhow, work was really fun today. I drove around 5 angmohs in a space of 4 hours! And I'm starting to become really fond of my rickshaw. The other ah peks, my fellow chauffeurs, are a pretty fun bunch to hang out with.. although all they do is reminisce about the past.. when there was no NS and stuff.. you know, I'm starting to think I was born at the wrong time. Just hearing their stories makes me sure I would have fit so well in the 50s and 60s.. And they don't really give me stares cos of my paperbag.. I mean, hey, it's a fashion statement man. Those bruddas of mine really understand me.. *touched* hopefully it's not cos they can't see well.. oh wells.. I have to go polish my rickshaw now, my new love!

2005-03-25T15:39:00.000+08:00

I decided a 18 year old like me shouldn't be bumming around too much. I should contribute to the country's economy! And fast, before the place lose interest in me, and I have to die off like the fish. I know I'm like... part of this huge pool of school drop-outs, the rubble of Singapore (learnt that from talkingcock.com). Hey! I do keep up with current affairs ok? I'm afterall... well.. I was afterall, part of the elite.

Yea, my point is... I got a job! In the transport industry. I guess I should get moving, literally... If I bum around somemore I'll need to borrow money from the loansharks, all the more I need to prepare myself for the time I need to get away from them. But that's still some time away, I need to run away from the NS admin first.

My eminent job in the transport industry - a rickshaw driver.

Yep, I'm a driver. A chauffeur. I'm in fact also an important part of the Singapore Tourist industry, without me, what's a tourist to do? They can't visit our country's most important heritage - those distinct shophouses in chinatown, unique to this region in the comforts of my rickshaw! Then they'll complain... they'll lose interest... not come to Singapore... and eventually the tourist industry will go bust!

But that, of course... is none of my concern. At least now, I'll have a cheap, private means of transportation. I figured it's quite fast too, in comparison to the army's tanks. So if they come chase me in those bulky tanks, my rickshaw beats them in agility!

Besides, it's a job I'm sure I can do, despite my arthritis. I mean, so many ah peks with obviously worst arthritis cases are rickshaw drivers too. I'll just be careful to leave my little finger and big toe out of the work.

2005-03-24T21:04:00.000+08:00

Have you ever owned a fish tank? 'cause there's this thing about owning ornamental fish...
they always die when u lose interest in them. Its as if they can read your mind, and they know that their not wanted. If they were still alive when you lose interest, then your conscience would prod you to at least transport them to the nearest clean long kang where they perhaps may have a fighting chance at survival. This is all very inconveniant, so its a good thing that fish are very considerate. They jus spontaneously all start floating on the water surface when they sense that their not wanted, thus allowing you to flush their bloated bodies down the toilet bowl without any feelings of guilt.

That's how the phrase "go and die" came about, in my opinion. What i can't understand is, if even the fish are so considerate....

WHY MUST THE ARMY ADMIN MAKE SUCH A PEST OF ITSELF WHEN THEY KNOW THAT THEIR NOT WANTED.

gAH

they called up and said that i'll have to go for a medical check-up after my paperbagitis gets cured, so that they can decide which pes to put me in. PESTS. I can't go to the army. Why don't they jus trust me and let me rot in peace? My little finger and big toe DO hurt when it rains. Its DEFINITELY ATHRITIS. I told them that my grandma, who has much experience with the disease, is willing to write a letter of excuse from the army for me.

but no...

"we do not accept sob stories from grandmamas. Only a proper medical certificate will do."

No respect for the elderly. Absolutely none.

and yeah i know that i said i regretting trying to get out of tekong. But that's only because i thought the suckers bought my story. Now that i may be forced to go...i don't know. This feeling of freedom lost. Sucks.

2005-03-23T18:32:00.000+08:00

To all confused fans of this blog:

Everything in WHITE is posted by Nick.
Everything in GREEN is posted by the crazy contributors of this blog who can't seem to agree with each other.

But no fear! Everything's fixed now, all thanks to Moi.

2005-03-23T18:30:00.000+08:00

MORE HIJACKERS!!!

2005-03-23T18:27:00.000+08:00

=contributors are argueing=

hi weizhen, this is amanda

i can't believe u wrote that ur weizhen
on this blog.
ur supposed to write in the persona of nick
whoever's reading this, so sorry that the creative integrity of this fictitious blog has been thus perverted...
but anyway, since its perverted alr.
i much as well announce here
big welcome to Weizhen and Lindsay, now joining Oiying and myself as contributors to this blog
and yes TAG and win a lambho!

2005-03-23T18:25:00.000+08:00

%#@^$#% What happened?! Someone hacked into my blog! A GiRL... and a... Jay Chou fan. Why is this happening to me??? Why must life be so cruel to me??? Why is the world such an evil place??? *runs off to cry*

What should I do now? Oh... change the password. But... how? I mean, I can't seem to find "change password" anywhere on the blogger.com site, only "lost password?" Maybe I should do that. And fast, before that GiRl beat me to it!

Finally, some excitement in my life. Quick quick!!

Nevermind, after this post.

Oh yea, to that meanie: don't you ever mention GIRLS to me! Don't think you can hide behind the "anonymous" title and rub salt on my wounds. I'll find out who you are using your IP address and hunt you down and feed you to maggots at my grave! Muahahahaha!

I'm beginning to regret telling them I'm suffering from paperbagitis to get PES F. And they actually believed me. "Sorry sir, see those white things on my face? The damp conditions in the paperbag caused mould to grow on my face. And (pressing my face closer to him), it's contagious." Yep, I found another use for liquid paper.

But I missed NS! How often do you get the chance to get off mainland, away from all the girls, the heartbreakers, the salt rubbers... and hide in a sorry camp somewhere at... Pulau Tekong?

Ok.. better get off and change my password, before my blog gets hijacked by some, insane jay chou fan, GIRL.

2005-03-23T18:00:00.000+08:00

hello everyone~~~~this is weizhen =D

haha...also dunno what to post leh...just very sian now...oh yeah...

JAY CHOU ROCKS!!!!!

haha...doing my part as a fan +D

2005-03-22T13:14:00.000+08:00

-disclaimer: HC is really DA BOMB! however, i'm real bitter after getting kicked out. So if you are pro-hc or from the schl administration, or anyone of importance or relevance who may sue/reprimand me, please DO NOT continue. If you do, and then decide to sue/reprimand me, let me be the first to say that this entry was really written by the RJ guy who's jus jealous that he went to RJ instead of joining the great Farmily. I will cooperate if you don't confiscate my wallet.-

you know the song "love is all around", sung by Wet, wet, wet?
well it is so relevant to me right now.

i feel it in my fingers,
I feel it in my toes...

Athritis.

yea retribution jus worms its way back to you.

Sick and stupid(alliteration?). I'm jus a sad case. There....that's what they'll put on my grave stone when my time comes.

"nick, paperbag loser. Sad case. Sad case. REalli sad case..."

and you know what? because noone will come visit this sad tomb, its probably going to be totally devoid of flowers and stuff....agh.

Maybe its better to write something along the lines of
"Army boys and campers you are NOT welcome to SET UP TENT on this grave jus' because it seems empty and disused..."

or an arrow directing them to perhaps a certain principal's tomb, should we have the misfortune of being buried in the same graveyard.

Oh but most people get cremated. And if the releavant person reads this, its jus a mean joke. I have the utmost respect for your farmily. It was just not so nice of you to kick me out of the farm. Perhaps i'm not domesticated enough huh? well had a good time pissing you off. Terribly amusing that. But i forgive you, though seeing you are impervious to error, i guess i can't find anything to forgive. Well now that my temper's cooled i DO admit that HC is a good school which has produced brilliant, brilliant people. So its noone's fault that my bulb's screwed wrong.

However, i have no idea why you sent me that "donate to hc letter"
because that's jus too much.
I can forgive
i can't forget
and i certainly won't donate.

or i'll donate to HCJC instead of HCI....and then we can see the cheque bounce all over the place. Whoo~
Anyway....i have NO future anymore. Donate what?

Along with the donation letter came this small return envelope addressed to the school with a stamp on it. Supposed to be used to send the moola. But since i'm not donating, i will soak that letter in water to remove the stamp, and then i'm going to use that stamp to send some insulting letter to someone, jus to further insult the entire cause. Not that its a bad cause. I'm jus being a bastard.

Hah...gotta get down to work.

2005-03-21T21:20:00.000+08:00

'Tis been 1 year and 5 weeks since I last blogged.

I'll leave my sad past behind me now. Please. Don't remind me. A new beginning.

Life's good.
I'm a legend.
I must be the first school dropout HC produced! I haven't checked, but I'm pretty sure it's true.
So I'm back. To share with all my success story.

14 Feb 2005. Monday. Valentine's Day. My Birthday.
I marched up to Ang's office and threw, I repeat, THREW, my letter on his desk. Perfect hit, on the second try (to err is human). Had to be perfect, since I tried out 5 different styles of throw (including crushing up the paper into a ball designed to hit his head) at home, in a room modelled after Ang's office, draft considered. You can't be too sure. In the end I decided on the sideways-slitting-through-air throw. Classic.

To all my fans: Caution. Do not copy blindly for success comes only after 135 practices.

Anyway, as I was saying, I threw my letter on his desk. Then, here comes the best part, I said, "I'm outta here! You can continue farming with your hwa chong faRmily." Hahaha! Wasn't that soooo cool?! Sooo original?! Sooo funny?! I must say I've great wit. I knew it, I ought to get out of school ASAP, you never know what I can do, I might become the world's most famous stand-up comedian! You should have seen his face, hah.

And so, I'm out of school. Actually, I lied. I'm no legendary Nick. I think Ang told the whole of Singapore I've an attitude problem, so no JC wants me, hah. Not as if I want them.

No one missed me and since no one called I can only relate to the world my wonderful story of how I left school here, on this miserable, disused blog. Meatball woman has shifted all her attention to the poor guy I set her up for a date with on Valentine's Day last year.

Having gotten PES F, I'm not going NS either. No friends, no life, just bumming around. And I heard that nice cleaning lady in HC, Miss Loo, died.

The world is such a sad place, perhaps I should wear the paperbag again and cry all day in it.

2004-02-14T22:45:00.000+08:00

happy birthday to me-ee, happy birthday to me! yeah~~~

birthdays are so wonderful. Its when u realise pple are actually thankful for ur existance. The world doesn't sux. The world rox. and that's cos i'm on it. Haha....wat a pile of crap. But nvm that. today is supposed to be a happy day, so i've decided to banish the depresso thoughts.

Got up on the right side of the bed this morning. Must've been drowsy with sleep. But it wasn't long before i remembered my little problem again and damn...headache! V-day, i had 2 dates, no presents for either...jus the recipe for disaster.

My grandma came over and gave me this....fa1 cai2 mao1. Was so disappointed when i got it at first...cos its not something i wud've gotten for myself actually.....a fa1 cai2 mao1. But its realli the thought that counts....so i'm gonna put the fa1 cai2 mao1 in a prominant spot in my room. With my grandma's blessings the fortune should be flowing in reeealli soon.

so neweay, back to my prob. I was a little worried for awhile. Had kind of banked on receiving some wonderful birthday present which i could jus re-label and give to either of the girls. But of course i can't give them a fa1 cai2 mao1.

Then a girl from my class called me. She said she was feeling a little down, especially after her crush(some henry dude) left the country. Wow... she was one of those who counselled me when i was down, so of course i owed her. Had to zhong4 you2 qing1 she4(translation:putting friends above lust) and promised her i'd go help her out with some dramafest stuff. Haha...that's when i began to see everything so clearly. Why do i bother with all these gals whom i don't really like anymore? its such a waste of my time. So i fixed them up on blind dates with some of my more despera...erm.... dateless friends. i probably just put myself on their condemned lists but i think its time i ended these two relationships neway. Besides...i've been used and abused for so long...time to exercise my right to be a bastard right?

ok..not right...i'm scared of what they'll do to me when they see me again. but those two guys i set them up with are realli not *too* bad. Oh no....what have i done???? must ask the lord for forgiveness when i go to church tomorrow. Oh and protection too...

Yeah so i went to help a girl from my class with her dramafest things instead. Was quite fun actually. Took my mind off the dumb matters that plague me. Though at some point i was wondering whether i was painting the chair or painting my shirt... I take that back. I did not wonder....it was pretty obvious: i was painting my shirt. But i had a rather relaxing time doing it...yeah.....its more fun and less taxing then running around town and trying to be sneaky.

Oh and i did something really significant too. Since i was trying to cheer that girl up, i told her that if she wore a paperbag, she might see things from a different perspective. So i took off my paperbag and let her wear it...haha...hey she says i'm quite shuai....tho of course Tom Cruise is still the king...even with the extra pounds. But she threw away the bag shortly....was too hot. Tsk...no perserverence at all.

...

Yup. This is it. Gonna resume my life as a CIA agent now, can't be revelating everything to the world. yeah right. i'm jus going back to nerding around. since i don't need paperbags anymore, my onli hobby is "mugging". Oh and u noe wat i said in one of the entries about being mysterious after turning 17? screw that. i hate mysterious pple.

I'll leave u poor souls with a quote before going off:
"youth is not a stage in life,
it is an attitude; it is an expression of will
of imagination and emotional intensity
It means the victory of courage over disheartenment,
the victory of a spirit of adventure
over a tendency to idleness."
-Marcus Aurelius

Kinda meaningful. Though it must be taken in context of course. mugging is neither adventurous nor idle....so i'm not sure whether what i'm doing is really natural for young pple. I should go bungee jumping.

Meanwhile. Whoever's reading this.... this is pure voyeurism.
Get a life.
Don't read the blog of a loser.
Or you might become one urself.
And jus in case u do become one, i don't have any paperbags for u....

peace out

-nick. Jus nick.

2004-02-13T22:05:00.000+08:00

Today is......not valentine's day....today is....friday the thirteenth.

OMG. And to think i had thought today was valentine's day all along. Found out that Valentine's day is really tomorrow, not today, during some lecture. I think i've had my head up in the clouds for too long.

I'm so screwed.

You see, after the confrontation with meatball woman(where she claimed i was avoiding her, which was so totally true, though i wouldn't have admitted it over my dead body...), i was feeling really really bad. I mean, i had hoped to avoid her *discreetly*. Like suddenly just disappear out of her life...But then she noticed it. And though i say i'm a bastard i do feel bad when i find myself blatantly in the wrong. Anyhow, meatball woman was kind of hinting that she wanted to watch this movie ...so to make up for my terrible behavior and to prove my *point*(more like my lie actually) about really enjoying her company, i asked her out on saturday. I mean, we can still be friends right.

But as things turn out, as things often do when i plan them...this ain't no ordinary saturday. Its valentine's day. No wonder she had that silly grin on her face. I asked her out on a valentine's day date! without knowing it...now she's gonna think that i'm in love with her. And i gotta buy a wonderful gift for her too....think my wallet's going on a diet.

And to make things even more excitng, my ex told me this morning(ie, before i found out that today's NOT valentine's day) that she still hasn't gotten over our relationship yet, in spite of the stuff she'd said. Since we both need closure, i asked her out on a valentine's day date....would have been a great opportunity to resolve issues only today is NOT valentine's day! Valentine's day is really meatball woman date day. What have i done??? I should reject one of them...but rejecting someone you've asked out on valentine's day....that's gonna have consequences.

I was so troubled i just abandoned all my friends and walked around the canteen. Then the wind blew, my paperbag shifted position, which made the eye holes move to the side of my face, totally obscuring my vision....and i walked into a pillar. Funny. I thought the whole path in front of me was clear. Yeah. So i knocked into a pillar. Felt good. Should've banged my head against it.

Now i'm in this terrible position. Two dates on valentine's day. And i'd expected to be all alone at first. I must be so hot... so hot that i end up boiling in my own juices. Funny....now i kinda think that it'd have been alot better if i were all alone....then if i were scooting around town trying to sneak to both dates without having the girls think anything's fishy...

i'm so screwed. Had an unfitful nap. Dreamt that i was in this classy restaurant with Britney spears in her "toxic" music video outfit(the glittery, skimpy one). Then out of nowhere came Christina Aguilera with the huge afro hairdo. And she started throttling me....even as some head lice jumped off her head onto mine. :(

tsk...maybe its jus cos its friday the thirteenth. yea...maybe i'll jus wake up tomorrow and all my troubles would've taken care of themselves.

2004-02-13T00:01:00.000+08:00

"Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you."

"Wo2 shi4 shui3?(Who am i?)"-Jacky Chan

2004-02-12T23:28:00.000+08:00

Stayed back to help out for dramafest today....my feet kinda stink

Meatball woman asked me whether i've been avoiding her. Of course i flatly denied it. Shouldn't have, but didn't have the heart to tell her she was irritating. Actually meatball woman is quite a nice person...She just gets on my nerves. I don't know...i'm an unfriendly bastard. Can't help it.

JC life is sapping. I wear a paperbag, but how many people wear a mask? Behind the facade of being nice, of being kind, of being bitchy, bastardly, unfriendly, overly-friendly, who are you really?
In my illusions i have lost myself. Caught between doing what i really want and doing something to please someone else, between acting civilised and acting like a dumbass because i am a dumbass, between being nice and spitting out my poison.

Caught between finding myself and losing who i used to be.

Oh yeah. Went down to the principal's office today. Had a hell of a time explaining why i refused to remove my paperbag. Went for counselling too. The teacher seemed so understanding. FAKERS! they jus want me to take off the paperbag....as if they really understand anything. I don't know why these "elderlies" are so preoccupied with trying to understand youth when what we really need is acceptance, not understanding. They'll never understand. Heck i don't even understand myself, as if some old foggy would. Anyway i finally told them i wear it as a sort of gimmick....and that all the sob stories i had told before...were all fake...jus stuff to drum up business for dramafest. Its funny how they'll ignore the truth but believe the lie.

i'm tired....its pretty short for a second last entry i know.....but ...i'm tired....whoever's reading this...sorry, can't entertain you. If you're that bored then maybe you could like....go eat a grape. Or better still, eat a burger. Then you can give me the paperbag when you're done.

2004-02-11T20:28:00.000+08:00

Valentine's day is approaching.

Its also my birthday.
Perhaps the only noteworthy gift i'll get will be from this 70+ woman. Nope its not that i go for older woman. Its 'cause Valentine's day is also my birthday...and my grandmother will want to give something nice to her darling grandson.

During morning assembly today council was promoting their valentine's day serenating sessions(pay the guy to sing for someone special) as well as some of the stuff their gonna sell.
-sighs- Valentine's day: Time to celebrate ur romance, to start something new....love is in the air~

and hate is everywhere.

excuse me. I sound like this really grumpy old dude now. But its justifiable. I had a terrible terrible day.

As i said in the last post, i don't know what posessed me at the time, but i asked meatball woman out to lunch. So we had lunch today. Which was boring to the max. Whatever good feelings i had for her before, they all evaporated during the course of this meal. She vacillated between being super dao, to being super childish, making comments just to illicit a response from me, then started hitting me as if we had been friends for the last ten years. This would all have been tolerable actually. But then she started suaning me and getting really irritating with some of her whiny talk. I had had enough. No more meatball woman. I hate it when people i hardly know presume that its funny to joke about my many inadadequacies. I mean...if we're already friends its absolutely fine. But if we are just starting a friendship, and i have to decide what kind of person you are based on what little u reveal to me during our time together....then perhaps it might be best you leave a better impression, instead of forcing me to base my judgement on whatever strange facet of yourself you have to show. As usual my friends were right. I should've left her to cook herself or something.

I'm tired of being the nice guy. Tired of caring. Tired of keeping all my spite inside. If i were in primary school i would've spat at her - she got so irritating! But i'm above that now... So i just pretended that i had a great time - even prolonged my torture by accompanying her to macritchie, where we were gonna have our run. Met a couple of her friends and they looked at us as if we had been married for the past 10 years, had five kids, and done all this behind their backs. Yeah my friends saw us too and pretty much thought they had succeeded in marrying me off.

So here's my statement to clear all those circulating rumours: Naw.....i don't like meatball woman.
I may have. But i've lost it.

And on a final note, i'll only be blogging until my birthday. After that, its time to grow up. Can't be revealing everything about myself anymore. The more people know about you, the more capable they are of judging and abusing u.

Being too open takes too much out of me and i'm tired of this abuse. Shall be mysterious after i turn 17.

2004-02-10T22:25:00.000+08:00

a million and one things must've happened today

For chem prac, was instructed to mix this FA4 powder with dilute acid, then measure up a certain volume of it using a volumetric flask. So i put the FA4 powder into the volumetric flask, then added some acid...noticed that there was some effervescence...but what the hell right. So i corked the flask and started shaking vigorously. Big mistake. FA4 was some metal carbonate

Metal carbonate + acid = carbon dioxide + hydrogen gas + metal salt. I think

yeah so neways, with my vigourous shaking the thing really got "mixed well", as intructed. Pressure started building up in the limted volume of the volumetric flask. Which brings us to another equation:

Chemistry + idiot = disaster

Yup. Due to build-up of pressure from the gas released during reaction, the cork flew right off, hit my lab partner on the head, and the liquid flew all over my paper bag. Thank goodness it was jus aqueous acid. Nonetheless, my paperbag was soaked, my lab partner shocked, my chem tutor sulky and all the other unsympathetic soals just kept on laughing. So anyway i didn't want anyone to follow me to the toilet as i had to wash my face(though maybe i didn't really need to hide my face since technically, i have already lost all "face") and change the paperbag.

Which may have been another mistake. 'Cause SHE(meatball woman) was just right there when i stepped out. I didn't know whether it was pure coincidence or whether she had devised to "accidentally" bump into me. Nonetheless i was desperate and she was all too willing to help. So i asked her to help me look for a paperbag. Which she did...That was a real lifesaver ...even though the paperbag was a little oily from its previous contents.

I know what i did next might have shocked my friends even more than my klutziness, but i asked her out for lunch to show my gratitude...i don't know! now i'm really weirded out...what have i done right...i dunno

But maybe she isn't as bad as she erm..looks...
And Valentine's day is coming up...

Am i desperate? Noo...
or am i? My classmate says that my quality control has gone down the drain
i'm confused
maybe we are all desperate at some level? or mebbe..or mebbe
AM i desperate? -confused-

2004-02-09T22:37:00.000+08:00

Saw her flirting around with a million and one despos....
hmph.

Anyway, she's found out who i am. I knew she would....i mean, its quite hard to keep your own name under wraps. Yeah. She just pretended that we had no past and i guess i'll play along....
Remember what i said in the last entry about having something planned?
Well i had prepared this really sweet gift for her....but after seeing things the way they are, I just
changed my mind. it was just a flight of fantasy anyway.

Actually, i lied about her flirting around with despos.
Some of them were actually quite hunky.
Yeah.
i'm just jealous.
So kill me. No don't. I think i could do that myself. Sighs. Sad...
(people, i know suicide's terrible. yeah. don't worry. won't do it. too gory anyway)

Anyway, my Wu Shu mate has been consoling me. She told me that i should have forgotten my ex a long time ago. Afterall, ex implies...ex. I think she's right...

Then she started suaning me about... yeah...THAT perverted girl. The one and only. For the uninitiated(IF you still haven't heard)....she's this really despo girl from Art Club.
She's despo. Really despo. And she's scary.
She hits guys, swears, and here's the cheesy part. She tailed me home from school! she's a STALKER...
i mean. having a female stalker would actually be quite erm...flattering. but not this one. this one is jus scary. I mean, though i'm a self-professed beef cake.....she.....she's the beef cake to end all beef cakes. She's a meat ball.
Who's got her eyes set on me...
AND there are no laws protecting the modesty of men in singapore. Which means i gotta protect myself in case she tries something funny. Better put more effort into practising my Wu Shu. Or at least try to improve my timing for running. In case of emergencies.

Yeah...Well at least when i'm worrying about her i forget about all my troubles. Yet i still wear the paper bag. I don't know why i do it anymore... i know i'm forever out of that girl's heart. Should've known a long time ago. I don't know why i do what i do...

2004-02-08T21:26:00.000+08:00

Woah got suaned in church...
said that i'm from the Highly Cheena school (HC - geddit? yeah i wasn't too amused either)
No worries. i reprimanded that perpetrator of that for talking rots about my brothers and sisters of the communist movement. Ok we're not really communist. I tend to forget that after i put on my brown shirt with matching brown pants and blend in with the rest of the erm...brownies?

Another churchmate brought this combat rations thing. Supposed to be what u eat during combat. Its this tomato paste with noodles and what not. Didn't taste too bad really. In fact, looking at the way some of my lifegroup members were gobbling it down, you wud've thought it was some imperial cuisine. haha... i can just see it at the bottom of the crystal jade menu: Lee Hsien Loong's recommendation - Infantry falls into tomato trench with noodles - $6.

Hmm..haha....I got something planned. ~.~
Don't wanna write about it now tho. Soon...

2004-02-07T21:16:00.000+08:00

Saturday is such a beautiful day

I woke up late,
rolled in bed,
pondered over my fate,
while eating some cake~
AHhhh....life - what am i to do with mine? tsk...

I'm a wanderer and i'm wondering when i'll stop wandering

Such a contemplative day it is today. Everyone is a person beautifully created by God. Even the bastards. Even the bitches. I should not judge, yet i must have judgement. I'm going crazy. Why am i saying this?

I realise i speak too much trash. I should shut up. Yup. SOmetime's communication isn't the best thing.

2004-02-06T22:33:00.000+08:00

Mwahahahaha
I was just worrying about replenishing my diminishing supply of paper bags, when some of my friends started contributing to my stockpile. Yeah. And it all started with my classmate that i wrote about in the previous entry. You go gal.
Seeing me stoning around, my ex-classmates from secondary school even came around and helped me cut the holes out of the bag. That was really nice...
Hmm...observed this really irritating girl. With her boyfriend. Both are so attract attention, the guy cusses really loudly in a way that almost seems like he thinks its cool, the girl acts like she's super chio and the both of them disgust the world with their disgusting public displays of affection. Oh and i caught her making eyes at my shuai friend too. What a flirt. The guy too. Think the both of them should just go hide in a corner and cover their faces with a paper bag. Not mine though....mine have sentimental value.
Oh yeah,
turns out my ex and i have a mutual friend. She apparently heard about my great need for paper bags and contributed one to me. She even asked me why i go around the way i do. The cruel irony of it all. Accepted the bag and introduced myself using my chinese name instead. Have been using this instead of my english name since i entered jc. She's gonna find out who i am soon enough though....don't know what i'll do when she does.

2004-02-05T20:18:00.000+08:00

tsk
so irritated with myself
put a million and one things into my pocket. Including my angel's letter. Then later on in the day saw a dustbin. Was damn happy. Quickly emptied the trash from my pocket. A few hours later realised that i had thrown my angel's letter away with the trash....
IDIOT! IDIOT! agh... i KNEW something was wrong when i started throwing the stuff away...yet I STILL threw it away...w/o checking! tsk. The earth shud've just opened up and swallowed this great big loser up right there and then.
But that would probably cause soil poisoning.

Got scolded by a few teachers for not doing my tutorials too. So naturally was not in a very good mood. First, i'm an idiot. Next, i'm a lazy idiot. Decided to just sit in a corner and feel sorry for myself.

Then my classmate came. She gave me a macdonald's paper bag(i've recently been forced to use the burger king ones because my store of Mac's ones are used up, and there's no way i can replace them since Mac's uses plastic bags these days). WoAh. That really made my day...the world really DOES care....even for an ass like myself. So damn touched.

Met my ex at the bus stop too. She just came over and started talking to me. Don't think she recognised me at all - my face is like...totally covered, and my voice is so muffled it doesn't really sound recognisable. Which is slowly bringing me to the conclusion that she's become a buayee. Otherwise why would she be talking to strange dudes at the bus stop? Maybe its because my shuai friend was standing next to me...or maybe she's just very friendly. Don't know. Couldn't think. Anyway her bus came very soon after and she just left. She's changed...but then again, haven't we all?

2004-02-04T18:04:00.000+08:00

Uneventful day at school.

Anyway, i signed up to take my SAT this May, have a feeling i may just be throwing away $80.
Verbal sux, maths sux, life sux.
And i hate all these exam things because the invigilators tend to demand that i take off the paper bag. Yeah right. I really have a whole list of maths formulas written inside. Really, lor.

Think i'll ask some of my Malay friends from the ITE to help me out. Since i just need to cover my face, i could put up with replacing the paperbag with something more...socially acceptable for the day. Have a tudung in mind. I think they will be more tolerant of it, especially since they wouldn't wanna heighten any religious sensitivities.

Tudung nick? Hmm...

2004-02-03T18:04:00.003+08:00

Can't think straight....

Did a NAPFA trial run today....timing wasn't too bad....
in fact the wind i produced in my haste almost blew the paperbag right off my face. Almost.

Anyway, i'm starting to settle down into the busy life at HC. I don't know...people here seem to take awhile to warm up to anything out of the ordinary:

During assembly this morning, my CT asked me why i go around with a paperbag over my head. I couldn't bring myself to tell her the entire sob story behind it so i just said that i had some sort of weird acne problem which requires my face to be submerged in humid air at all times. Don't think she bought it entirely but she was willing to close an eye - afterall, its jus a paperbag. Not like i take drugs or something.

Decided to eat soup noodles during break instead of my chicken rice staple(don't wanna take any chances with the avian flu bug going around). Big mistake. Drinking soup through a paper bag is really tricky business. Spent so much time trying to eat that i was a little late for bio lecture. Which was an even bigger mistake. The lecturer looked meaner and more evil than usual. This is the ensueing dialogue:

"Miisster(most sinister sounding mister i have ever heard, btw), why are you so late?"
"Erm, i had a stomach ache..."
"And why is there a paper bag over your head? trying to be funny issit?"
at this point she reaches out and nearly rips the paperbag off of my head. This is where my few weeks of wushu training come in handy as i narrowly dodge her vicelike grip. Phew. Anyway, i mumbled something about being so ashamed of my tardiness that i felt compelled to hide my face. She seemed rather placated by this answer and let it rest. I have a feeling that she's gonna get back to me on that issue tho...

Was feeling down and a little depressed after being mocked in front of everyone. Lots of people staring at me. Though i'd love to believe that its because of my drop-dead-gorgeous beef cake physique, i'm inclined to think that its just because of the paper bag. Was looking around for my ex but she was nowhere in sight. Depressing day. Noticed the funky chiobus from 03s7a though.

2004-02-02T20:39:00.000+08:00

YOZz
seeing this blog is a means by which i can communicate my inconsequential thoughts to others who apparently haf nothing better to do with their wasted lives(other than read the thoughts of an idiot such as myself), i shall leap up and grab at this opportunity to explain what i have left unexplained since i entered HC at the beginning of this year

Why the paper bag? AHhh....the million rupee question. Many have wondered why i go around with my face submerged under the hollow depts of a paper bag(ie, for the less literally inclined, why i walk around with that hideous mcdonalds paperbag over my head)

I have always subscribed to the belief that sharing your problems does not bring comfort. Rather, the vocalisation of your woes only brings about affirmation of your own self-worthlessness, and this inevitably increases your state of depression exponentially. However, owing to the immense build-up of interest and curiousity as to why i choose to lead my life the way i do(bag-over-head), I feel compelled to put to rest some of your queries.

I put a paper bag over my head because:

1. Being a gentleman, i shall spare the ladies the sore eyes that would otherwise result from looking upon my not-like-tom-cruise-at-all face
2. Adds abit of mystery - brings up the question: maybe i DO have a face that looks like tom cruise(jus that its hidden) yep, some people are jus overly optimistic
3. Macdonald's paper bags are easily available. Sometimes i use the ones i get from the pasar malem.

4. the real reason:
my moon, my stars, my one, my only true love has come to hc as well. I say she is my love, but i am, for sure, not hers. I can still remember the words that she used to pierce my fragile heart when we broke our 3 month long romance last year
"I don't ever wanna see your face again"
i always give her what she wants - if she doesn't wanna see my face, then i shall hide it from her. And i shall keep it this way until she has a place in her heart for me once more. Call me an idiot, call me insane, but i'm gonna perservere....
Someday this paperbag will come off
till then, this is paperbag nick

peace